He feels the need to indulge me sometimes when I need to vent.
So I was going to title this post,
Dear Mommy of a child without special needs,
the post would then continue with something all these lines.
You and your child will survive potty training because your child is physically able to go potty. It will not be the end of your world if it takes a while, even a long while.
You and your child will survive when your child is getting some new teeth. All kids do.
You and your child will survive if your child gets a skinned knee.
But then I started thinking, MAN this post sort of reeks!! Reeks and drips of nasty old rotten bitterness and frustration, maybe even a little anger.
Sometimes facebook is a rough place for me. Sometimes its amazing. But sometimes its frustrating to see some of our kids go through such awfully hard things and see you mommys struggling through some really scary moments. And then see the status updates about potty training, or teething and oooooooh please pray for us this is so hard because baby so and so has a stuffy nose. I want to take some of your status updates about UTIs, ER visits, Surgeries, braces, and therapy and just post it on their walls.
But as I got ready to sit down and write this Dear mommy, bitterness post. (and after a nap) I really had to think about the truth behind what I wanted to write and why.
Is it frustrating when friends, family, and people we really dont even know that well complain about things that seem so trivial? ABSOLUTELY! But is it trivial to them. At that moment of potty training, at that moment of endless crying because of new teeth or hearing a baby having a hard time breathing seem like something small? Not to that mommy. Its big! And you know, if I wasnt where I am today. That could be me.
I could be the mommy on facebook with the biggest worry being a scratch instead of scoliosis. I could be the mommy worried about teething instead of tethered chord. I could be the mommy scared about silly things instead of shunts.
And instead of feeling bitter and frustrated maybe I should sit back and be happy for them. Maybe I should be happy for me too.I can be content knowing that they dont have to deal with the worries and fears we do.
I can also be content knowing that their child is spared some of the things are children are not spared from.
But on the flip side. I know that my life with Toby has changed me. permantly. and in a good way. And on that same note though I dont want my life with Toby to change me to a bitter angry person at everyone who has a healthy child. Wow!! Talk about not being able to keep friendships! : ) Its something honestly, I give to God on a regular basis. Maybe I take it back since I have to keep on giving it over to him. But as long as I keep giving it to God as long as I keep fighting it and not just sit there and right mean ugly posts that might make me feel better at the moment....and then honestly, pretty junky afterward.
I hope these thoughts make sense to you, since sometimes I have a hard time putting my thoughts into a logical progression : )
Kari (aka toby's mommy)