So I consider myself a pretty realistic person...okay well not always, but when it comes to Toby's medical condition. Realistic.
We read up on Spina Bifida. Researched his specific level. Talked to therapists, doctors, specialists. Anyone at all you would give us an answer on what his condition would look like down the road. We thought we had a pretty good grasp on it. Honestly, I thought I had a pretty excellent grasp on it.
I thought that realistic was the best way to be. Expect the worst and be surprised if something better happens. Well, sometimes being realistic can really bite you in the hiney. (rear, booty, butt) whatever word your family uses.
I know Ive written this before, but I feel like its so important Im going to write about it again. I have cried tears that never should have been. I mourned things that would not be in Tobys life that are most definitely in Toby's life. I ached over missed opportunities and activities that now are just normal for us.
Havent we all heard this? (or at least a lot of us) Your child might walk for a little while, with a walker or some type of device but will eventually be in a wheelchair full time. It's the way it goes with these kids.
Well, Id like to take this time to stick my tongue out at all of those people!!!
I believed what they said. Believed what they told me based on their "medical expertise" And then I mourned the things I was told we would miss out on. Toby never walking by himself, Toby using a wheelchair majority of the time.
Now, yes there is a point where you have to be realistic about your child's condition, BUT COME ON!! Don't slump your shoulders in defeat. Don't nod your head at every Doctor and assume they know. Get up and Push your child and if you have a therapist who isnt pushing your child FIND A NEW ONE!!!
I dont always give you guys the reason for why I write what I write, but today I am. Today Toby stood BY HIMSELF for the first time. No walker, no table, no arm crutches. BY HIMSELF. Today I was told "Your son should be walking by himself in no time!" I walked out of that office in shock. Is this really my life? Is this really Toby's life? Did he really just do that? Is this really going to happen?
And then I thought, What would have happened if we hadnt ended up with an incredible therapist. What would have happened if we had lost our last one and ended up with one who was content to help him in his walker, and help him in his chair? I would have trusted them and would have assumed that everything was going according to plan. It would have been the realistic route.
I say they can take their realism. I'm ready to push and reach and dream. I'm ready to picture my son with out a walker. You know? Is it going to hurt if it doesnt happen? Yes. Will I cry? Most likely. But no more than I have already cried being realistic.
So I say we stop taking large doses of realism and start being willing to dream a little. Dont letting being realistic bite you in the hiney.