Friends and Family

Kari asked us to have a friend or family member write our post for last week. I asked my 13-year-old son, Isaiah, if he would be interested. He was nine when his sister was born and hadn't even been our son for a full year. We adopted our sons and had our daughter all in our first year as parents. In addition to ADHD, ODD, and CD, Isaiah has Reactive Attachment Disorder (link will open in new window), and his only positive attachment is with his sister. These are his words. This is part of his story...





Hello! My name is Isaiah. I am 13 years old. I was nine years old when I found out that my brand new baby sister had Spina Bifida. I was nine years old when my life changed forever, and it has made me the brother to a sister who I never knew would have to go through so much just to take a step.


When I found out that my sister, Esther-Faith, had Spina Bifida, I did not know what to do. All I knew is that I had a sister. But when I walked into that room, I heard the news, and I realized just then that I would have to work harder.


I was trying to be helpful by staying out of the way. I didn't want to get in the way of the doctors or the choas. We already had enough of that! I tried to do little chores for my parents as well.


Spina Bifida wasn't exactly anything I wanted for my little sister. I hate to see her watch other kids do things that she can't do. It hurts me so much and I can't do anything about it. I was startled to hear that my sister had Spina Bifida. It spooked me out. But when I met that little, tiny baby, I realized it didn't matter if she had Spina Bifida or not, she is my sister. Now, I feel the same thing. Four years and six months later, she is still my little sister.


I honestly did not do any research on Spina Bifida. I did not really know how to use a computer and it did not come to my mind. I was too busy rushing around staying out of the way. But thinking about it now, I probably should have.


It is really hard to see my sister go through surgeries and to have to watch it happen. It breaks my heart. This January, when my sister was in the hospital, I didn't know what to do with myself. Should I feel sad? Surprised? Worried? Scared? All of these? I didn't know. But now I know. Even when she has surgeries or hospitalizations, or has Spina Bifida, I can believe one thing... actually two things. These two things I hold on to. Wherever I am, I take them with me. 


The first is that I love my sister. 


The second is that I won't ever let her go.