Our First Big Talk

Taken from Colleen's blog Choo Choos and Tutus with permission of course!! :)
Friday, April 9, 2010
Nate and I had our first big talk...

... and I told him he has Spina Bifida. It's not like I've tried to keep it a secret from him--I've brought it up casually many times, such as "We're going to our Spina Bifida playgroup. Did you know you have Spina Bifida just like these other kids?" and he'd say, "Yeah..." But he was too young to understand anything about it. Well, he's still too young to understand what it really means, but he's starting to understand a lot more than I give him credit for.

As I was putting him to bed tonight, I gave him his Keppra (seizure meds). He said, "Mama, am I sick?" I said, "No ... do you think you're sick because you're taking medicine?" He said yes. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Nate, did you know that you have a lot of really special things about you?

Nate: Yeah ... what? What special things?

Me: Well, first, you take this medicine because you sometimes have seizures. That means that sometimes you stare off into space and your brain gets a little foggy. Do you ever feel like that?

Nate: Hmmm. (thinking)

Me: Well, that's why you take this medicine, because it stops the seizures so you don't feel foggy and stare into space.

Nate: What else is special?

Me: You also have something called Spina Bifida. That means there was a boo boo on your back when you were really little, but the doctors fixed the boo boo.

Nate: I have a boo boo on my back? (feeling around to his back)

Me: No, not anymore, but you can see a line where the doctors fixed it. Do you want to see it?

Nate: Yeah!

We went to the bathroom, and I sat him on the sink with his back to the mirror so he could see his scar for the first time. Then we went back to his bed.

Nate: I have a boo boo. (very serious)

Me: No, not anymore. It doesn't hurt anymore. But because of the boo boo on your back, that meant you have had to work really hard to get your legs strong like they are now. That's why you go to the Horsey House (hippotherapy) and play with Miss Nikki. And you have worked so hard so that now you can run and jump and swim. And that's why you wear your car shoes (SMOs). Did you know that Mama doesn't get to wear car shoes, and Daddy doesn't get to wear car shoes, and Georgia doesn't get to wear car shoes? That's another thing that's special about you!

Nate: (smiling) What else is special?

Me: You're a really hard worker. Remember when you decided you wanted to jump? You practiced and practiced and practiced, and you learned how to do it all by yourself! I was really proud of you.

Nate: What else?

Me: Well, you talk A LOT. You know so many words, and you can talk all day long, more than anyone I know.

Nate: What else is special?

Me: You're a good big brother. You can make Georgia laugh, and she thinks you're great.

Nate: What else?

Me: Oh, something really special about you is that when the doctors fixed your boo boo, you were a little bitty baby in my belly. Remember when Georgia was in my belly, and my belly was really big? Well, you were that little and were in my belly once too. And the doctors went in and fixed your boo boo and put you back in my belly, and you grew and you grew and you grew until you were ready to be born!

Nate: Noooo, I'm not a baby. I'm a big boy.

Me: I know you're a big boy now, but you used to be a little baby.

Nate: Noooooo.

Then we read "I'll love you forever," which I actually think is a very creepy book, but it was appropriate tonight. And I started singing his favorite bedtime song, and he sang along with me.

Me: Oh, Nate, I just thought of another really special thing. You sing all the time. You sing like a little bird.

And for once, he didn't cry and complain as I left the room. He smiled and sang songs until he fell asleep.
Posted by Colleen at 9:22 PM