Saturday, October 30, 2010

a gentle reminder....

It has been a very hard week. My mind has been troubled with decisions I need to make in regards to my Madilyn. My thoughts have distracted me completely. I am sure I am the only Mom this happens to in the world....at least that is how it seems sometimes.

Today I opened my mailbox and peace filled my heart when I opened a package. My "Redefining Spina Bifida" T-Shirt arrived. I quickly examined it and read the words on the back of the shirt.

STRENGTH
COURAGE
ENDURANCE
FEAR
PATIENCE
LOVE
TRUST
HOPE

As I looked at those words, I realized that I have been stuck in the FEAR Factor all week. I always try to live with Strength and Courage which in turn enables me to endure the trials that come from being a Mom with a child who has Spina Bifida. This week has not been that kind of week.

FEAR is a part of this journey. For me, it switches between the fear of the known and the unknown. There was a time when I thought this meant that my faith was just not sufficient enough. After 6 years on this journey, I think that I was wrong in that assumption. I am just human. I often find myself counseling my Father above instead of listening and learning his will. I think that he knows me well enough to allow me to fret around sometimes and then when I am ready to step past the fear, the rewards come after much patience on my part. Love, Trust and Hope have room to grow and flourish and sustain me.

The amazing aspect of being apart of this community is we each are at different places. When one is weak, another is strong. When one is afraid, another has calming words that lessons the fear. As this month of Spina Bifida Awareness comes to a close, I am grateful for the lessons I have learned from each of you.

Best Wishes,
Jill

2 comments:

Dill Family said...

What an excellent post!! Well said! We've all been (are) there:)

Holli (and Mark) said...

ditto above!! just got our t-shirts today too and turned my whole day around. Hugs!!!