Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Journey to the 'BIG' Ultrasound

It's that time- a time of preparation for the 'BIG' mid-pregnancy ultrasound. If you are reading this right now, chances are you know exactly what I'm talking about:

It's the ultrasound that changed all of our lives forever.

If you can imagine, having lost our twin son, Eli, to multiple anomalies associated with his SB/Hydro (ultimately they diagnosed him after birth with Chiari 3 malformation, where they thought it was Chiari 2 in-utero), here we are scared lifeless. We have a healthy twin son, Walker, at home, the memories of Eli, the failed dream of our twin boys, a miracle pregnancy (without fertility drugs), and 2 lifeless parents who have dreaded the day of this upcoming appointment for a baby that we carry.

On August 7th of this year, we celebrated the Project E.L.I. Documentary Premiere (documentary on SB that was renamed after our son after his passing)(more on that soon), as the next day, August 8th marked the 1-year anniversary of our son's death. It was a weekend of highs and lows. I hadn't been feeling well for several days but blamed it on grief. I thought what I was feeling was grief. Boy was I in for quite the surprise.

But something miraculous happened that day as we locked ourselves in our home and turned off our phones. We took a pregnancy test with many doubts, considering our twins were invitro twins. But to our surprise, it was positive. We fell to the floor in disbelief that joy was being brought to us on the saddest day of our lives. The test the next day was positive, and the next day: positive, and even the next day: it was positive too (you get the point!)

Now, here we are: 15 weeks along. And we found out the news yesterday that we're having a baby girl, who we have chosen to name Ellie Reece McGinley. And our 'BIG' ultrasound has been scheduled in 3 weeks.
Dear SB Mommas-Please say a small prayer for our Ellie and this appointment. We are prepared for whatever God send our way, undoubtedly. Healthy, challenged, small, big, whatever she will be, we will love her and offer her the best that life has to offer. We have endured the death of our child once because of unexpected SB challenges. So if you can imagine, we have endured the worse. And there is a part of our hearts that will forever be a part of and longs to be a part of the SB community. November 9th will change our lives forever....again. And we look forward to a life with this child, no matter what.


TMI Tara said...

What a great site! I love it! Email me if you'd like to be featured on My email is Thanks!

Kari said...

i remember being scared to death after having toby and being pregnant with milo. but lo and behold i have crazy little milo running around like a maniac!!